Ask the cards

Did I run from you instead of towards you

I ask the cards

I want a different answer

Tell me I was deliriously happy.

Tame sweethearts underneath

Who lost it all

Who will soon find it.

I was not happy.

Were you?

Maybe you were too selfish to be unhappy

After all

What was your job

I never asked you to be

You weren’t really

You pulled away in rhythmic patterns

To the beat of raucous vinyls

Every day more tired of pulling you towards me

The rope thick hurting my hands

I cannot lift you

Why don’t you just walk towards me

Distracted

You're reading your philosophy of nothing

I pull and watch in awe as nothing happens

Is that what you are reading of

I stop and watch you from afar

I pull once more

And walk towards you

How much further could I go

I stop and cut with giant scissors the intricate ropes

How foolish of me to have tied you

Be free I wish you with a smile

With bloody hands I try to hold your arm

Now that you’re free

Maybe you choose to be mine

But you just ran

Ask the tarot cards

I pray for a different answer

One that tells me I am wrong

I cry to the gods

just tell me

Tell me i was wrong all along

Tell me I should have stayed and you would have stayed

And all was one big misunderstanding.

The gods got their wires crossed

Zeus got a new puppy

And I misheard you when you said in not so many words

That you don’t care

Then that you do

Then when you didn’t show you care

I should have waited for Zeus to sort his business up in heavens.

Oops.

I thought we were two too

How do I extend myself

My body all over yours

Maybe if I grow a little taller

Maybe if I hold you with stronger arms

I’ll be one and a half and then you can be the half I need

Maybe if I stay a little farther at the edge

And stare down the abyss till it lights up from cigarettes and booze

Maybe if we exchange different lines or maybe if we snort coke

Maybe if I jump on your back and laugh a little harder

Maybe if I break you and rebuild you into what I need

Or maybe if I break myself

A mosaic of salt water

I’ll turn you into clay

We’ll build something else

Something small

And when the wind will shake us

We’ll first cry hard then laugh then fall

I thought we were two

One morning I noticed we are one and a half

I looked under the sheets

I tried to find the rest of us

Maybe forgotten in that empty bottle of whisky

Maybe on the shelf rotting and moldy and smelling of death

I looked for a while

I asked you if you knew

The door closed behind you

I started the laundry

I cleaned up the yard

I waited a while

I smoked, one more pray

I planned, packed my bags, threw them out

Called you out

Called out the echo

I opened the bottle

Left it open

And went on my way.