Quiet

Bear backs and backpacks and bare peaks  

I climbed you and you hoarded me in your hump

We fell then lifted each other then fell back

We crawled over the surface beneath until we hit the bottom

I float

And I did scream, I cursed, I silenced whatever cloudy day there was

And there was rain and there were forests and we sat still.

But there were traces all across the snow

and there were shoes and it was quiet

A truck, a snowstorm, left right turns

On winding roads and wishing to be hit by you.

Fell from heavens

It was raining when I fell out of love.

I am holding in my arms my unborn child

His neck breaking

Replaced with straws

It is only a dream but his touch is earthly and calm

More real than the stories you embellished

I yearn for his cry

Will we be tomorrow

or will we break to pieces till all is left is hay

Who knows

Love made out of words is after all

A story.

Letters from the wind

I wanted to send a letter into space

To let you know I am giving up

But instead

You must have heard the birds singing

And the wind through your hair must have whispered

She can’t hold on no longer

But you were long gone even before weren’t you love

You must have asked the wind who are you talking of

Who is this girl who will no longer fight

The wind will blow and the birds will sing

And somewhere in the arctics the emperor penguins are bowing to each other

And she

Far away is working very hard on giving up on love

What comes to you with so much ease

Such a torment for her

Who is this girl,

She sounds so lovely,

you ask the wind again

Oh love how you forgot it all

The wind long gone back to the desert

Back to its own strives for joy

Says nothing

I send another breeze to soothe you

Just breathe my love

Let go of me I say

And for a second the dust intricately recontructs my face

But it’s so late

It’s way too late

We both forgot.

Welcome

I scatter my ashes in the already dirty pool

How many of the floaters were lovers who turned bitter

now still and frozen in the Tucson nights

I rinse my hair with cold water
Silver from cold, silver from ages past.

I am not ready to succumb but who is ever ready

Depart.

It's late.

When sorrow moves next door

You know where sorrow is.
And late when winter just moves in,

You spread your legs and let it come

Inside.

Afloat

His shadow finally left

Wrapped up in my blood covered sheets

A day after the day after the day I stopped stalking you.

It was so quiet without the hope of love.

After the sun is up does no one cry to the moon

There was nothing before him

Nothing since you

Nothing after the storm

My Id made out of all the glasses of whiskey I drank over him

Stutters

Water now soaks the vessel where I once held my lover

Too bad I never learnt to swim

Did another lover teach you me him how to swim

Was I still holding onto him onto you

After all, without holding hands,

Corpses float too

Mine

The pain comes from trying to hold on to your lover

I painted his face
Now he’ll always be mine

Till the fire.

Knock

We exchange poems written for other lovers

It’s 4 am

Lovers we crossed we fucked we bruised

The prettiest boy

I moan and scream and fight myself

Where have you been?

Everywhere

Against the table

Can the walls break instead of our hearts

The man next door avoids my look  

He heard me

But did he hear the whispers of our opening hearts

You knocked

And just a little bit you cracked the shell

A stale blood bath mixed with dust

To open after all you have to break

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Not love.

Walk to the funeral home

I woke up this one morning and I was having my cigarette and glass of whiskey

From the balcony I am watching a coffin at the funeral home next door

We both laugh

What a vivid imagery, you said

If only it was raining, I said

You laughed and I swear the sun got warmer

I was heartbroken back then, I said

We walked

And for a moment I knew that once you leave

I won’t wish for days like this imbued with laughter

Once you leave

I’ll wish for whiskey and a job

At the funeral home next door.

God complex

I wanted to tell you how I’ll always love you

But I knew it wasn’t true

In time, I’ll stop loving you

“Like you stopped loving God?”

“Yes

But then, I met God again.”

“Maybe we can meet again”

I grimaced

“No.”

01/15/2018